Challenging Times? Look for the Blessings

A frequent question (so frequent in fact a book was written with the question as its title) is, "Why do bad things happen to good people?" Fr. John Corapi answers it by saying God allows apparently bad things to happen to good people so that greater good may come from them.

This perspective is tremendously helpful in dealing with the adversities you face. It allows you to get past your "why" question to ask an important "what" question: "What is the good and the blessing God intends (and perhaps has already presented you with) in this situation?"

Starting with looking for blessings in all situations presented to you allows you to better start growing as God intends from both the wonderful and the challenging things you face. Even amid the bad, seek the lesson, the caution, the redirection, the admonition, or the reprimand God is placing before you. Doing so allows you to be an active participant in the good God is trying to bring about in your life and the lives of those around you.

If you feel like you're pushing a boulder up a hill, take time in quiet and prayer. Ask God for the gift of being open to the blessings he intends for you. Realize those blessings will not be without sacrifice and struggle. Even so, surrender your will to allow him to guide you to the greater good he intends.

Blessings,

Mike

Okay God, Even I Get It

We've talked before about the challenge of understanding when and how God is actively working in our lives.  I often pray to surrender my will so I can be open to God's will for me. There's a long way for me to go, but something happened last week where God made His work so clear, even I was able to see it.

Leaving a job in a big corporation last fall was a major test of faith. I firmly believe God created a situation where he essentially asked, "Are you willing to make the right decision and depend on me to lead you?" Through prayer, discussion, and understanding the beneficial impact my departure might have for other people, there was no choice but to leave if I wanted to be true to my life's core purpose.

Since then, it's been challenging in many ways, yet I'm at such peace with the decision. In both subtle and overt ways, God has placed signs along the way which signal, "I'm watching out for you. Believe."

With as much progress as we'd made on the business, it was clear a number of weeks ago that we needed to secure a significant project. At the same time, Lent was approaching. During this period annually, we are re-called to a life of greater prayer, sacrifice, and giving to others. So for part of our Lenten giving, I committed to give a certain portion of whatever a new project's fee would be to EWTN, the Catholic television network. It has been a tremendous blessing in my spiritual growth for many years.

Sure enough a potential project in the works since before I'd left my job came to fruition as Lent started. True to our commitment, Cyndi and I made an online donation to EWTN of $500 several weeks ago. Sure it would have been comforting to keep the money, but it was a vital commitment to fulfill. Last Thursday, we received an envelope from EWTN with a receipt and a note saying we'd be remembered in masses and devotions there the first week in April.

In the mail, however, was another envelope, this one was from our insurance company. It referenced a car accident we had in August 2004. On the way to an outdoor theatre, our car was t-boned (and totaled) by a big, old pickup driven by a driver with no insurance, no license, no tags, and apparently no inclination to yield the right of way. Thankfully, no one was hurt. Yet we were stuck in a bad part of town with an inoperable car, a dying cell phone, and a need to find someone to get us home. Cyndi's sister was traveling through town, however, and was able to come get us. As we waited, the Kansas City police officer stayed at the scene much longer than he would have had to, watching out for us. So beyond missing the show, having to find a new car, and covering the deductible because of the other driver's lack of insurance, we were really none the worse for wear.

The insurance company's letter let us know the pickup's driver was now making payments to them. Because of his commitment to repay his debt, the letter contained a check for $500, refunding our deductible! Okay, I may be tremendously dense, but even I could put all this together.

Think about it. We pray and expect God to answer immediately, not appreciating that God doesn't (and doesn't have to) act on our timing to provide for us according to His plan and His will.

In this case, an apparently random (and potentially tragic) event five and a half years ago (which was no more than a nuisance) had to occur to allow God to care for us at a time when $500 has taken on much more importance.

This isn't the first time something like this has happened since I left my job. Several times, just what we needed, whether financial or simply a word of encouragement, has arrived at exactly the right time.

The message?

Pray you have the foresight to get out of God's way and allow Him to direct you as necessary for His will to be done. Then be prepared and patient to allow His plan to unfold, even when it's not clear what it all means. Because you know what? It doesn't matter if you understand it; God understands it. And that's what matters.

Blessings,

Mike

Sometimes God Allows Things to Be Difficult

Sometimes God allows things to be difficult:

• So you'll pay more attention to what you're doing
• For others (and not for you) to teach you to give of yourself
• To put some appropriate fear back in you
• So you'll learn to sacrifice your pride
• So you'll let Him take over
• To slow you down when you're going too fast
• So you'll realize you need friends to make it through
• Because it's what's best for you in the long run.

Suffering or the Lack of It

The idea of embracing suffering vexes me.

I've had a blessed life. Couple it with a problem-solving personality that tries to fix challenges (as opposed to passively embracing the MINOR sufferings I've experienced), and I often worry I'm running away from suffering.

Driving to an appointment the other day, there was an old broadcast of a Mother Angelica show where someone asked her to address the fact that saints so often wrote of taking on suffering for its redemptive value while we live in a society that constantly markets to us about eliminating suffering in our lives.

Her response was wonderful, "Very few of us are saints."

She went on to say that when she has a headache, she reaches for the aspirin bottle. And if those aspirin don't work, she takes some more. Only then, if the headache hasn't subsided, does she tell herself God must have some other plan at work.

What a helpful point of view.

We're meant to be acting in our lives, and there's redemptive value in the struggle of dealing with challenges while also being open to God's will in our lives.

That makes me feel a whole lot better.

Blessings,
Mike

Father's Day

Many of you know my dad entered the hospital in early April. Three surgeries, four ICU stays, a life flight to Kansas City (followed by an ambulance ride back to Hays), and several weeks in rehab later, he was released Friday after 70 days.

Through the incredible prayers of many people, the indefatigable support of my mom, and his indomitable positive spirit, he's alive today, with something still to prove.

There were many ups and downs during his hospitalization. One 24 hour period stands out.

On Mother's Day, I headed to Hays when he returned to ICU with a blood clot in his lung. The ICU doctor pulled me aside and asked if I understood how serious Dad's condition was. I assured him I did. And even though it was ostensibly her day, I don't think I wished my mom Happy Mother's Day until 9 o'clock Sunday night.

Back at home, I laid in bed, making myself cry for the emotional release needed for the days ahead. I thought about what I'd learned from my dad and all the things he'd been and done in his life. And I got the idea for the piece below.

As I've told a number of people, when I went back to the hospital the next morning at 8 a.m., Dad was unconscious and on a ventilator; I feared the worst. At the 10 a.m. visit, he was alert and nearly squeezed my hand off; suddenly my tears from the night before turned to tears of joy. By the 8 p.m. visit, he was off the ventilator and watching "Dancing with the Stars."

That's my dad, and I'm so glad he's out of the hospital for Father's Day to be able to read this post.

I love you Mom and Dad!

My Dad

My dad is my dad.
He's a son, a husband, and a big brother to many - whether or not he's older or even a sibling.
He's a Kansan.
He's a friend.
He's a partner with Jesus.
He is loved by so many people.

My dad is a barber. He's a salesman, broadcaster, TV celebrity, and announcer. He's a chef and restaurateur. He's a board member and advisor.

My dad is an electrician, plumber, mechanic, gardener, carpenter, house painter, collector, comedian, impressionist, and artist.

I've seen him fix all kinds of things for people.
For those in genuine need, he's a bank, a financier, and investor.
Hard working and strategic; a solver and critic.
He has a distinctive personality. He's a learner and advice giver.
My dad is tech savvy, following me into blogging and tweeting.
He's incredibly proud of his son.

My dad's a positive thinker and struggling. He's sweet and rebellious.
A coach and cheerleader, with a cantankerous, opposing voice.
He loves sports; hates athletic ineptitude. That's why he's a frustrated golfer and Kansas City sports fan.

He's demanding and a loving, supportive man; big hearted and skeptical.
He's a confidant who is inquisitive (at times nosy), and doesn't take any bullshit from anyone.
He is infirmed, and he looms large.

My dad is a rock, a fighter, and seemingly to me, invincible.
My dad is my dad.

How Has Your Week Been?

How has your week been?

Looking back over the past few days, it’s incredible to think about the positive impact of:

• A kind word from a co-worker in a holiday card
• Hearing from someone I hadn’t talked to in several years
• Talking with someone who is genuinely hopeful about 2009
• Someone I love providing moral support
• Eating a home-cooked meal
• Having a mentor and friend who really understands what’s going on
• Receiving a thank you email from someone who has taught me so much

All of these have helped make this a wonderful week, and I’m humbled to be the beneficiary of all of them.

Think about it. Any of us could do these same things for others.

So here’s the bigger question -

How has the week been for those around you?

A Glorious Day and All It Entails

Each year in mid-October, there’s a completely clear day where the setting sun outside my ninth floor window lights up the trees just to the north of our building, making all the glory of their fall colors come alive. While I’ve tried to take pictures of it, the photos never do it justice.

This year, for whatever reason, the clear, glorious day didn’t arrive. Two things got in the way.

First, many trees in our immediate area were bulldozed to make way for a retail development. Watching this large stand of trees, which had been home to deer and other wildlife, destroyed over the course of a few days was incredibly disheartening. Driving to work the morning after the first day of bulldozing, I saw a deer standing amid a pile of torn down trees eating leaves in what used to be its habitat. It was enough to nearly push me over the edge.

Secondly, for whatever reason, the remaining trees didn’t achieve the same incredible color scheme this year as in the past. The leaves looked more brown than they did yellow, orange, or red.

So what happened instead?

On a mid-October day this year, there was intermittent rain. Far from being clear, the sky was grey, with ominous clouds rolling through the area all day long.

Then in late afternoon, a rainbow appeared, and the clouds, now very low in the sky, started to give way in various parts of town. As they did, different parts of the city began to light up, revealing beautiful colors in groups of trees throughout the Kansas City area.

In a unique way, the day of glorious color this year became much more intriguing, not knowing which trees would next receive their flash of illumination, only to randomly surrender it to other trees miles away. What has been a beautiful scene became an interactive display of color and light this year. It was the most glorious October day yet.

Think about it.

We are finishing a calendar year many view as having stripped away tremendously important things to them (i.e., money, wealth, status), leaving a dismal landscape, with dim and daunting uncertainty about the year ahead. Sounds a lot like the view from outside my window, doesn’t it?

What’s the lesson? The glorious day I was anticipating and looking forward to didn’t happen. Instead, challenges and hindrances spoiled what was expected, yet worked to create something even more glorious.

I’m as big an advocate of living a challenge-free life as anyone. But what I take away is the reminder that challenges, trials, and difficulties are all part of the impetus for creating great things we perhaps couldn’t imagine without them. For all of us, let’s pray that we can take the challenges 2008 presented and those that 2009 holds and make it a truly wondrous year unlike any we’ve experienced before.

Merry Christmas, and blessings for the New Year!

Mike

Things to Do During the Holidays

• Turn off economic news through the end of the year, and maybe into 2009. Things won’t change based on whether you’re completely informed on interest rates and bailouts.


• Search for a long lost friend via the internet and contact them. Let them know you’ve missed them.


• Find 5 minutes in your hectic day. Stop and pray in thanksgiving and for help.


• If you can’t find 5 minutes to pray, do it while you’re doing something else.


• Ask people, “What’s a good thing that’s happened to you today?” Genuinely listen to what they have to say.


• Have dinner by candlelight with someone you love. It doesn’t have to be fancy; even fast food is better by candlelight.


• Let yourself off the hook and simply don’t do something you’re agonizing about doing. You’ll survive.


• Take some of the time you saved and do something nice and unexpected for someone else. They’ll love it.


• Work to be more understanding than you typically would be.


• Tell someone you’re sorry for what you’ve done.


• Inspire someone with your words or actions. Or at least tell them everything will be okay.


• Get home for the holidays.

You've Got Advice in the Mail

The email below arrived in my work inbox over the night.

A quick search shows it out on the Internet in various places. Yet, sometimes it's not enough that it's "out there." Something may have to stare you in the face when you most need it. I asked for some help for today, and this arrived in my inbox from someone I don't know.

It was exactly what I needed.

Thank you Lord!

Blessings,
Mike


From: ----- --- [mailto:------------@gmail.com]
Sent: Tue 12/4/2007 12:15 AM
To: Brown, Mike
Subject: RE: Be yourself..............Have a great day ahead


Be understanding to your perceived enemies.
Be loyal to your friends.
Be strong enough to face the world each day.
Be weak enough to know you cannot do everything alone.
Be generous to those who need your help.

Be frugal with that you need yourself.
Be wise enough to know that you do not know everything.
Be foolish enough to believe in miracles.
Be willing to share your joys.
Be willing to share the sorrows of others.

Be a leader when you see a path others have missed.
Be a follower when you are shrouded by the mists of uncertainty.
Be first to congratulate an opponent who succeeds.
Be last to criticize a colleague who fails.
Be sure where your next step will fall, so that you will not tumble.

Be sure of your final destination, in case you are going the wrong way.
Be loving to those who love you.
Be loving to those who do not love you; they may change.
Above all, Be yourself.
Just Be Yourself.

Regards
------------
Photographer
City Magazine
Roanoke VA
USA

My Thanksgiving

It started just shy of 7 a.m. on Tuesday, November 24, 1998.

It ended just shy of 7 a.m. on Wednesday, November 25, 1998.

Ten years ago, during this 24 hour period, my sacramental return to the Catholic Church unfolded.

After being away 11 years, those 24 hours changed me forever, literally. I entered it one way, and left it profoundly transformed into a new person - one who thought differently, spoke differently, and ultimately, through the grace of God, acted differently.

And none of it had anything to do with me. It was all God’s grace.

My thanks are to God, my parents for praying for me, my wife for her conversion, Fathers Bill and Paul for their ministry, and the wonderful people at 6:30 a.m. daily mass at St. Ann's parish all these years for the ongoing demonstration of their faith.

November 25. It’s my second birthday, and I’m honored to share it with my good friend Dale. I’ll never have a more memorable day in my life.

Blessings and have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Mike

Don’t Hide Your Talents

Today’s gospel focused on two servants who applied and grew the talents that they’d been given, and one that didn’t. One of its messages is to look at and share your blessings and graces for the benefit of others.

Think about all the blessings and graces you’ve received. Take a few moments to list them.

Go back through the list and select at least a few that you’d consider to be hidden, i.e. you haven’t necessarily developed or shared them with others. Concentrate on how you can start to unhide them and incorporate them in ways that will help others.

This season, make sure to unwrap and unhide some talents to help others.

Guardian Angels

October 2nd is the memorial of the Guardian Angels in the Catholic Church. That day our priest at mass narrowly avoided a serious collision later by slamming on his brakes at just the right time. He later tied this act to his homily to us that day about paying attention to when our guardian angels are protecting us.

The week after, I received a chain email from a friend about how “angels” are placed in our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. At the end, it asked people to forward it (which I didn’t do), respond to the sender (which I did do), and expect something wonderful to happen the next day at 11:04 a.m. (which I sort of did skeptically). The following evening before heading home, I thought back through the day, checked my email, and confirmed that nothing happened at 11:04 a.m. that was exceptional.

The next morning, one of my true guardian angels returned from a conference in Las Vegas where he unexpectedly attended a presentation by a well-know business person and entrepreneur. Based on the speech, he talked with the speaker afterward and told him that the two of us need to get together in some way because of our shared perspectives on innovation. After excitedly telling me about this, I asked him when he wound up in the presentation the day before. The answer . . . just after 9 a.m., Pacific Daylight Time. Or just after 11 a.m. in the Kansas City area, where I was.

I relayed this story to the angel chain letter friend at dinner the other night. And within a day or so, she introduced and recommended me for a research conference-related role with a national association that’s laden with opportunity. I told her, she’s my “Fairy Godmother of Research!”

The point of all this is that no matter what you call them – friends, angels or fairy godmothers – ALWAYS give thanks for the blessing of wonderful people in your life who care about you!

That’s one chain not to break!

Blessings,
Mike

The Invisible Hand of God

Talking with a friend the other day about the economy, we discussed God's hand in it, and the greater good that may come from today's challenges. Consider that in a society where . . .

• So many people are overweight, restaurants and food manufacturers have cut back portions to help manage costs.
• So many people suffer from physical maladies through lack of physical fitness, gas prices have caused more people to walk or bicycle.
• So many people are focused on increasing their material possessions, the credit, housing, and employment situations are creating a sense of sacrificing things and reassessing what's most important.

My friend's advice was to keep praying. That's great advice!

A Hope for Today (and Tomorrow and the Next Day . . . )

Here's a snippet of a prayer from mass that is such a comfort every day:

"Deliver us, Lord, from every evil, and grant us peace in our day. In your mercy keep us free from sin and protect us from all anxiety . . ."

Today, may you have peace, protection from anxiety, and be free of sin!

Blessings!

Mike

Baseball Practice

As a child playing Little League baseball, I had my first coach who yelled at us constantly. Coming off of my dad being a coach, it was a severe shock. The change was dramatic and for the first time in my life, I hated baseball and dreaded practice.

The thing that got me through was my mom staying during practice. She’d be sitting in her tan Chevy Malibu off under the trees, and whenever my frustration was peaking, I could look over, see her and know that the practice would end soon enough.

I recalled those moments so vividly during some challenging times recently, thinking how wonderful it was to know Mom was there. Having a sign of comfort was critical then, and I’ve carried that concept with me to this day. It’s always helpful to have those people who we know are there for us when the challenge subsides. They are the really important elements in our lives that are present regardless of how the rest of the world treats us or feels about us. And when they aren’t there, they are really missed.

A couple of weeks ago, our priests were gone and I wasn’t able to get to daily mass for several days. If it wasn’t completely clear before, it was then – daily mass is my biggest source of comfort. Two days away, and I could feel the difference and was much worse for it.

Whatever your faith, find and hold on to your comforts. They’re essential in challenging times.

Blessings,

Mike

Sharing a Perspective

I met Yolanda this past spring through a mutual friend. We’ve stayed in touch as she completed her degree and has been looking for a new job. She’s been through a tremendous amount recently, and this email from her last week struck me profoundly given the recent conversation here about what it means to be poor in spirit. Here’s someone with some real insight on the topic:

“I guess that I just need to vent to someone and who better to do so with. Well, knee deep in this life of mine I've come to a great discovery. We don't really need much of anything to survive. You see I have lost everything I love in a matter of one day, recently. The only things that I haven't lost are the people I love; they are the ones keeping me afloat.

“In this world of a bad economy and lost wages, I have nothing, and yet I am surprised by my endurance. With no real money or things to hold me down I can look with a clear and unfoggy window into what is really going on. The major players of this country and the world are making us think we are in trouble but really we could just take their bluff and make them weep. Meaning they are playing a hard game of cards with all our lives and we just all need to wake up. You can make money wherever you are with nothing at all, with talents, with a little hard work.

“What has history taught us? It will repeat itself. Thanks for the listen. Yolanda”

Based on a phone conversation with Yolanda this week, her faith has been a tremendous help in getting her through her recent challenges. Her outlook is phenomenal and so moving spiritually. She’s an incredible person. Say a prayer for her as she goes through the final stages in securing a new job.

Blessings,

Mike

I Know It’s What I Asked For, But Not Like This…

One challenge with prayer is that God will “answer” it, but “answer” isn’t defined as “exactly what I want!” When you pray, “answer” means God won’t allow your prayer to pass without one of the apparently infinite number of responses at His disposal.

I bring all this up because it became clearer to me Sunday morning that I think God is in the midst of “responding” to a prayer that I’ve included in my intentions off and on for some time.

The thing is that the response feels like it’s going to be an answer similar to one from several years ago – an answer I tried to rebel against. Interestingly, the start of this response even appears to tie to the exact same weekend that the one a few years ago did. And going back even more years, God has used this particular weekend repeatedly to initiate changes in my life.

So while I don’t think at first pass I’ll like the answer any more this time than last (and my first inclination is still to fight it), I CAN look back and see the incredible positives that resulted last time.

With that, my prayer will have to be one for acceptance, patience, and to stay out of God’s path a little better this time.

"Why Am I Here?" - Washington, D.C. Edition

WASHINGTON, D.C. (June 10, 2008) – I haven’t written directly here or in my strategy blog about “core purpose.” Not surprisingly, it’s top of mind for me as we sit in an airplane waiting to take off amid a violent thunderstorm on the runway at Reagan National Airport in Washington, D.C.

Today was a presentation on strategic thinking to a very small audience at the ASMI Branding Excellence Conference. Shortly after arrival on Monday night, I became very ill - the same kind of illness that put me in the hospital overnight in Cleveland a couple of years ago through flu-related dehydration. I was incredibly blessed then to be traveling with Keith Prather, my strategic partner, who was truly the Good Samaritan. He stayed with me in Cleveland while his wife and daughters had to drive to Oklahoma for a dance competition by themselves.

Since then, my parents ask me on nearly every trip I take whether Keith will be along. I always assure them I don’t need Keith to travel with me and that the hospital stay was a fluke. Until last night.

Since that time two years ago, I travel much differently with a lot more meds and a realization that I’m not invincible. So without Keith as God’s representative, I have to depend on God’s intervention through other means, including my loving wife and our neighbor back in Kansas City. Of course, God provides, even to the point of the meeting planner offering to let me skip doing the presentation.

But God didn’t bring me here to not do the presentation; this is where my core purpose comes in. Despite having my regrets during the day about making the trip, my core purpose would say that there was someone in the audience that I needed to reach. The thing is I don’t know who it was, although I have my suspicions. Having said that, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if it were someone else that I hadn’t even talked with directly. That would be God’s way, and who am I to try to outthink God, since he provides the core purpose in the first place.

And now, we’re #1 for take off. God bless us.

Blessings,
Mike

P.S. We made it back, although we were more than 90 minutes late. Thankfully, our neighbor took my wife to the airport so that she could drive me home. She was a true sweetheart and waited the extra time because I couldn’t have gotten myself home that night. Thank God.

You Write About It, and Then It Happens!

The day after last week’s post about faith and trusting God’s hand in your life, I was running late for a flight, and got out of my normal routine going through security (i.e., a routine that gives me a sense of control).

After grabbing a sandwich, I stopped just short of the gate area at the end of the concourse (#1) to stuff it in my backpack and noticed my computer was missing. Panicked, I started running down the long concourse at full speed to get back to security, thinking I’d forgotten to pick it up since it was the last item through x-ray.

As I neared the airport chapel off to my right (#2), it dawned on me that I’d stopped after security in a different place and re-sorted all of my things, placing the computer on a ledge in front of an airport restaurant. Changing direction toward the restaurant (#3), the computer was amazingly still sitting on the ledge in full view exactly where it was left.

God was watching out for me – no big surprise! At least I realized right then that it was while I was passing the chapel that the computer’s location popped back in my memory!

Blessings,
Mike